LOVE HIM!!! Words can't describe how happy I was to finally see my little man again but it took only about 10 seconds until he saw dada and went running full speed with his arms wide open. I won't complain because it melted my heart to see him so happy to see his dada!!!
I can't say he was as happy to see me but that's ok because he spent the rest of the evening wanting G-mom, he even spent the night in the bed with her. I was thrilled to let him do this because I know my mom was needing just a little bit more time with him. We spent the next morning playing in the hotel before going to grab some brunch. Brunch was great especially since Alex slept the whole time in G-mom's lap and she was able to get about an hour of last-minute loving and snuggling with him.
I know it was hard on them to leave but I now know that I can survive (sort of) for him to go spend such precious time with his granparents in the future.
I can't say that I knew a mother's love for her child until the child is not at arms reach every single day. I have taken moments for granted but now I know just to enjoy whatever time I can with him. He is the only little man in my life that makes me feel so complete.
All smiles...
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Count Down...only a few more hours to go:
I sit on the bus back to Cape from a competition in Oklahoma City. My thoughts range from excitement to overjoyed to anxiousness but yet I get a feeling of sadness. Sadness for my mom and the emotions she has been struggling with today about it being her last day to spend every waking, and sleeping, moment focused on my little man. It was 9 days ago where the emotions were on the other end…she couldn’t wait to get her hands on Alex and I wanted that trip to Tunica to last forever so I didn’t have to hand him over.
I sit with quiet tears rolling down my cheeks out of anticipation for the first time to see him. Will he run to me? Will he want to stay with G-mom and G-papa? Will he say, “hi momma?” Will he realize what is going on? All the nerves of wanting him to want me come rushing in…why is it that I want him to miss me? Wouldn’t that mean it would be even harder for him to go stay with someone in the future if he knows what missing me is? I want him to be able to go stay with grandparents in the future and enjoy every second of it but at the same time, I want him to want me…as much as I want him…every second of every day!
I’m not sure my mom is going to know what to do without an almost 2 year old running around her house and wanting her undivided attention constantly in the days ahead. Dad told me that he isn’t sure Alex’s legs work anymore because my mom holds him constantly and knowing Alex, he’s at her legs saying, “hold me, hold me.” One thing I know for certain is that their water bill is going to be tripled…did I mention that Alex took a minimum of 2 baths every day? Mom and dad’s bath has fun lights that change colors and Alex can practically swim in it. Oh, and did I mention that he can watch Phineas and Ferb on the tv while he’s drinking his chocolate milk in the bathtub? Can anyone say spoiled? Not only did Alex enjoy multiple baths but my parents let him feed the birds, go on a carousel, play in the moving toys at the mall, visit with his cousin, Avery, and spend some very precious moments with both his great-grandmothers. I know he is too young to make memories but I am positive that my mom and dad have had some very special moments with him this week. I hope they can hold onto those forever!
So the time is nearing, Matt and I will be hitting the road to Tunica to be reunited with our little man. I know the moment will be special no matter what and I look forward to the many more times he will be visiting either set of grandparents in the future!
Coming up...REUNITED!!!
I sit with quiet tears rolling down my cheeks out of anticipation for the first time to see him. Will he run to me? Will he want to stay with G-mom and G-papa? Will he say, “hi momma?” Will he realize what is going on? All the nerves of wanting him to want me come rushing in…why is it that I want him to miss me? Wouldn’t that mean it would be even harder for him to go stay with someone in the future if he knows what missing me is? I want him to be able to go stay with grandparents in the future and enjoy every second of it but at the same time, I want him to want me…as much as I want him…every second of every day!
I’m not sure my mom is going to know what to do without an almost 2 year old running around her house and wanting her undivided attention constantly in the days ahead. Dad told me that he isn’t sure Alex’s legs work anymore because my mom holds him constantly and knowing Alex, he’s at her legs saying, “hold me, hold me.” One thing I know for certain is that their water bill is going to be tripled…did I mention that Alex took a minimum of 2 baths every day? Mom and dad’s bath has fun lights that change colors and Alex can practically swim in it. Oh, and did I mention that he can watch Phineas and Ferb on the tv while he’s drinking his chocolate milk in the bathtub? Can anyone say spoiled? Not only did Alex enjoy multiple baths but my parents let him feed the birds, go on a carousel, play in the moving toys at the mall, visit with his cousin, Avery, and spend some very precious moments with both his great-grandmothers. I know he is too young to make memories but I am positive that my mom and dad have had some very special moments with him this week. I hope they can hold onto those forever!
So the time is nearing, Matt and I will be hitting the road to Tunica to be reunited with our little man. I know the moment will be special no matter what and I look forward to the many more times he will be visiting either set of grandparents in the future!
Coming up...REUNITED!!!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The Drop Off...few days following
"Alex, are you ready to see G-mom and G-papa?" "me-mom, papa" "Yes, we are about to see them..."
Get out of the car, G-mom pokes her head out of the door, full speed ahead as Alex sprints off and into her arms...
We then spent about 30-45 minutes playing and delaying the inevitable. Alex ran on full go playing with G-mom and G-papa the whole time we were there. We decided around 10:00pm or so that we should make the 3.5 hr trip back to Cape. I asked Alex to come give me a hug and kiss and went straight over to G-mom, who then brought him over to me. He didn't want me to take him but gave me a big hug and kisses. I would have to say that this made things a lot easier even though there were plenty of tears on my part.
I cried on and off the whole way home but felt so good about him wanting to be with his G-mom! It was only a matter of about 20 minutes until I got the text..."he's asleep!" This gave me great calm as I knew he was comfortable enough with them to curl up and go to sleep with his large stuffed monkey.
Since the drop off, Alex has averaged atleast 2 baths/day. My parents have a bath tub with lights and a tv next to it...what 2 year old doesn't need a bubble bath, flashing lights, chocolate milk, and Phineas and Ferb? How will our bath tub ever live up to this? He is loving his time with my parents! I have spoken to him on the phone a little bit but he always seems too busy and having too much fun to waste time with us. We were able to skype for a few minutes one night which was a lot of fun! He kept saying, "momma, dada, momma, dada" over and over again! He loved seeing us and then would yell at Marley from time to time. Thank goodness for this type of technology!
We are a few days away from him coming home and I have missed him oh so much! I am very much looking forward to having him home but I know he is loving this time with my parents. One day he will be able to make many memories during his time with them as he gets older.
More to come for "The Return Home..."
Get out of the car, G-mom pokes her head out of the door, full speed ahead as Alex sprints off and into her arms...
We then spent about 30-45 minutes playing and delaying the inevitable. Alex ran on full go playing with G-mom and G-papa the whole time we were there. We decided around 10:00pm or so that we should make the 3.5 hr trip back to Cape. I asked Alex to come give me a hug and kiss and went straight over to G-mom, who then brought him over to me. He didn't want me to take him but gave me a big hug and kisses. I would have to say that this made things a lot easier even though there were plenty of tears on my part.
I cried on and off the whole way home but felt so good about him wanting to be with his G-mom! It was only a matter of about 20 minutes until I got the text..."he's asleep!" This gave me great calm as I knew he was comfortable enough with them to curl up and go to sleep with his large stuffed monkey.
Since the drop off, Alex has averaged atleast 2 baths/day. My parents have a bath tub with lights and a tv next to it...what 2 year old doesn't need a bubble bath, flashing lights, chocolate milk, and Phineas and Ferb? How will our bath tub ever live up to this? He is loving his time with my parents! I have spoken to him on the phone a little bit but he always seems too busy and having too much fun to waste time with us. We were able to skype for a few minutes one night which was a lot of fun! He kept saying, "momma, dada, momma, dada" over and over again! He loved seeing us and then would yell at Marley from time to time. Thank goodness for this type of technology!
We are a few days away from him coming home and I have missed him oh so much! I am very much looking forward to having him home but I know he is loving this time with my parents. One day he will be able to make many memories during his time with them as he gets older.
More to come for "The Return Home..."
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Heavy heart yet so calm...the next 10 days!
Months ago..."you need to let me know some dates that we can keep Alex during your season" I reply: "ok, mom. Let me take a look at the calendar." A few weeks pass..."have you checked the calendar yet?" My reply: "not yet but I will." And a few more go by..."how about when you are gone the first 2 weeks of February?" Me: "ok, that sounds like a good plan."
As tomorrow approaches for us to drop Alex off with my parents, I think back to these multiple short but yet so full of emotion conversations. Is it that I don't trust my parents to keep him...NOT even a chance do I think that way. Is it that I worry he won't be loved on...YEAH right, he's going to be the most spoiled little boy when he returns. Is it that I just can't fathom being away from him for so long...YEP, that's it!!! I have done everything I can not to think about it but now the time is so near. I spent every second I could with him over the past few days and would just tear up every time I think about him leaving. How could someone so little have just a tight grip on my heart?
Tomorrow will be the test...can I leave him knowing it won't be for over a week until I see him again? My heart is both heavy and yet so calm at the same time! I will miss him more than he will ever know or understand but G-mom and G-papa will begin to make memories with him that they will be able to carry with them for the rest of their lives!
Updated posts to come...
As tomorrow approaches for us to drop Alex off with my parents, I think back to these multiple short but yet so full of emotion conversations. Is it that I don't trust my parents to keep him...NOT even a chance do I think that way. Is it that I worry he won't be loved on...YEAH right, he's going to be the most spoiled little boy when he returns. Is it that I just can't fathom being away from him for so long...YEP, that's it!!! I have done everything I can not to think about it but now the time is so near. I spent every second I could with him over the past few days and would just tear up every time I think about him leaving. How could someone so little have just a tight grip on my heart?
Tomorrow will be the test...can I leave him knowing it won't be for over a week until I see him again? My heart is both heavy and yet so calm at the same time! I will miss him more than he will ever know or understand but G-mom and G-papa will begin to make memories with him that they will be able to carry with them for the rest of their lives!
Updated posts to come...
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Christmas / New Year's / Life's Blessings
Christmas 2011 was spent in Georgia with Matt's family where we got to enjoy some amazing time with his grandma Elizabeth, mom, Bob, Lizzie, Joseph, and my precious nephew, JR! Alex and JR had a blast opening Christmas presents as it was an all day event for us. We would open a few then let the boys play for a while, then open a few more, then play and nap, then some more...you get the picture! It was a great time and just to keep from listing everything Alex got, we had to rent a suburban just so the toys would fit in the car to bring back to Missouri! Matt's step-sister, Laura, and her fiance, Kyle, also stopped by multiple times to watch the boys open presents and share in on all the fun!
New Year's brought a weekend of enjoyment with my family making the trip to Missouri. My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and sweet little niece, Avery all made the hike from Louisiana so we could enjoy some time together. Unfortunately, my father was sick most of the weekend but made it upstairs to enjoy family time opening Christmas presents and watching the Auburn football game! Alex LOVED having his "me-mom" and G-papa here visiting as it made for a very difficult departure when they headed back home. Alex would not let go of my mom and him screaming for her to stay had us all in tears while they were trying to get on the road.
The family time during the holidays was a true blessing and we loved every second of it...it's hard to believe we are now headed into 2012! After some reflection of 2011, I feel that the year was full of so much goodness. God definitely shined His light on us and our family. As we head into 2012, it's hard not to look ahead without excitement as to what's to come:
1. I am getting ready to start season with my team and I am super excited about our talent and potential to climb in the rankings this year! We have a small team of 13 gymnasts but that doesn't measure the size of their hearts and determination. We are all working hard and making every effort possible to reach our goal of NCAA Regionals this season!
2. Welcoming a baby girl to make our family of 3 turn into a family of 4! Her name is Cameron Auburn Ewasko. We plan to call her Cameron which is Matt's grandmother's middle name that is passed down on her side of the family. It was very important for us to incorparate Auburn into her name because without Auburn in our lives, there would be no Alex nor Cameron nor US for that matter. Auburn is where Matt and I met and started the amazing journey of life together.
3. Matt has started a job at Capaha Bank. They are willing to work with him so that he is still able to enjoy coaching football at a local school this upcoming football season. He has received so many positive comments from parents he sees around the community and he LOVES being an influence and role model in the lives of these young men.
* I could go on and on but these are just a few of some of the large changes that I'm excited about in the upcoming months!
I look forward to keeping you updated...Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I wish you all a very blessed 2012!!!
New Year's brought a weekend of enjoyment with my family making the trip to Missouri. My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and sweet little niece, Avery all made the hike from Louisiana so we could enjoy some time together. Unfortunately, my father was sick most of the weekend but made it upstairs to enjoy family time opening Christmas presents and watching the Auburn football game! Alex LOVED having his "me-mom" and G-papa here visiting as it made for a very difficult departure when they headed back home. Alex would not let go of my mom and him screaming for her to stay had us all in tears while they were trying to get on the road.
The family time during the holidays was a true blessing and we loved every second of it...it's hard to believe we are now headed into 2012! After some reflection of 2011, I feel that the year was full of so much goodness. God definitely shined His light on us and our family. As we head into 2012, it's hard not to look ahead without excitement as to what's to come:
1. I am getting ready to start season with my team and I am super excited about our talent and potential to climb in the rankings this year! We have a small team of 13 gymnasts but that doesn't measure the size of their hearts and determination. We are all working hard and making every effort possible to reach our goal of NCAA Regionals this season!
2. Welcoming a baby girl to make our family of 3 turn into a family of 4! Her name is Cameron Auburn Ewasko. We plan to call her Cameron which is Matt's grandmother's middle name that is passed down on her side of the family. It was very important for us to incorparate Auburn into her name because without Auburn in our lives, there would be no Alex nor Cameron nor US for that matter. Auburn is where Matt and I met and started the amazing journey of life together.
3. Matt has started a job at Capaha Bank. They are willing to work with him so that he is still able to enjoy coaching football at a local school this upcoming football season. He has received so many positive comments from parents he sees around the community and he LOVES being an influence and role model in the lives of these young men.
* I could go on and on but these are just a few of some of the large changes that I'm excited about in the upcoming months!
I look forward to keeping you updated...Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I wish you all a very blessed 2012!!!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Blessings...just taking the time
For some reason today has really spoken to me about how blessed I am and what an amazing God we serve. There wasn't anything big and drastic that happened but just the little things that add up. Though my daily job isn't the easiest, it gives me great excitement to have such an amazing group of young ladies that I get to be a part of their lives for at least 4 years and hopefully for many more after that. They constantly inspire me to become a better person and to improve my walk with God because I know that when it's time to make difficult decisions, I always need Him there with me and giving me support. A moment I had today was when I was working the concession stand with my team and Matt walked over from cooking hotdogs. It was really cold outside when the wind blew and Matt just wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big hug to block the breeze. I know it was a small gesture but it made me feel so loved. Another moment today was when I tried to put Alex down to nap and he literally screamed his head off so I went and got him out of his room, brought him in the living room, and within minutes he was passed out and snoring in Matt's arms. It was the sweetest 2 hours because he never sleeps in our arms but today, he just needed his daddy.
I just wanted to take the time to reflect on small happenings in life that show how amazing God is and how blessed I feel!
I just wanted to take the time to reflect on small happenings in life that show how amazing God is and how blessed I feel!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Summer / Fall recap...
Well, needless to say, life hasn't slowed down since last post. I know I said I was going to attept to post more often and it hasn't happened yet but I am going to give it another go! Here is what has been going on the Lives of the Ewaskos!
Summer - we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. These 6 years have been such a blessing and I look forward to 60 more (hopefully)!!!
- We spent some time at our local water park with friends and family. Alex proved his LOVE for water and would play so hard that he would just collapse once we got home.
- Matt's family came and visited and we were able to spend lots of time with cousin, JR. He and Alex had a blast together and thinking about the future of these two boys together gives me great excitement.
- We were also able to spend some time in Tunica, MS with my parents. Matt and dad played a few rounds of golf, we ate amazing food at the casino buffets, and mom and dad watched Alex while Matt and I went out to the driving range and spent some time together.
- in late summer, Matt and I found out that we would be expecting #2 in early April 2012. We are really excited about this new challenge in life and can't wait for Alex to be a big brother.
Fall - we have been enjoying the really nice weather so far. We have spent some time at the park when mom and dad came to visit and also just to get Alex out of the house at times. He loves to slide and will do it over and over and over...again!
- got to spend some time at a local apple orchard with both groups of our Bandermann friends! This is where we found out that Jason and Sarah are also expecting #2 and I'm excited to share pregger moments with her. I can't believe how big our little kiddo group is getting and it's exciting that it will continue to grow!
- For Halloween, Alex attempted to dress up as an airplane. He loves his wooden airplane that Bob (pops) made for him but he wasn't too keep on wearing it very long. He was tell us "no" when we would pull it out but we finally got it on him to get 1 picture out of the ordeal.
- some great news came in early November when Matt was offered a job at a local bank. He has been out of a fulltime job for 2 years now and this has been a huge prayer requests especially once we found out about baby #2. God has been so good to our family and he continues to show his amazing grace to us every single day.
Alex continues to grow and change every single day. He does things that just simply amaze me because I don't feel he should be big enough to understand. Here are some moments from the past few months that I can remember:
* started daycare in September. It was a rough 3 weeks transitioning but now he LOVES going. He walks in and jumps right into whatever activity they are doing at the time. He will give me a kiss bye (sometimes) and then wave with his sweet litttle "bye, bye."
* has transitioned to a toddler bed. We took the front off his crib and put up a safety rail. He seems to enjoy and we only have had 2 rough nights of him getting out of it and crying at the door but on both nights, he would put himself back in the bed and go to sleep. Can't believe he is getting so big!
* November 5: sat quiet through our dinner prayer for the first time with his hands folded and head bowed. This brought me to tears. He usually talks and plays with the food but this time, he just sat there and watched Matt out of the corner of his eye while listening very intently. During Sundays lunch, he didn't sit so quietly but when Matt said "amen", Alex let out a loud "AAAAmen" to finish it up! Just made me smile so big!
* has started singing "Twinkle, Twinkle", his ABC's, and counting. Can't always understand the words or them being in the correct order but he loves to sing the tunes. I also enjoy listening to him talk to his animals in the bed once he wakes up in the mornings. Who knows what the conversation is about but he is quite communcative in a language he understands.
I know there are so many things I have missed and hate myself for not staying on top of it better but that is why I vow to start keeping better notes and sharing fun times more often.
Please stay tuned to find out more of The Everyday Life of the Ewaskos!!!
KBE
Summer - we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. These 6 years have been such a blessing and I look forward to 60 more (hopefully)!!!
- We spent some time at our local water park with friends and family. Alex proved his LOVE for water and would play so hard that he would just collapse once we got home.
- Matt's family came and visited and we were able to spend lots of time with cousin, JR. He and Alex had a blast together and thinking about the future of these two boys together gives me great excitement.
- We were also able to spend some time in Tunica, MS with my parents. Matt and dad played a few rounds of golf, we ate amazing food at the casino buffets, and mom and dad watched Alex while Matt and I went out to the driving range and spent some time together.
- in late summer, Matt and I found out that we would be expecting #2 in early April 2012. We are really excited about this new challenge in life and can't wait for Alex to be a big brother.
Fall - we have been enjoying the really nice weather so far. We have spent some time at the park when mom and dad came to visit and also just to get Alex out of the house at times. He loves to slide and will do it over and over and over...again!
- got to spend some time at a local apple orchard with both groups of our Bandermann friends! This is where we found out that Jason and Sarah are also expecting #2 and I'm excited to share pregger moments with her. I can't believe how big our little kiddo group is getting and it's exciting that it will continue to grow!
- For Halloween, Alex attempted to dress up as an airplane. He loves his wooden airplane that Bob (pops) made for him but he wasn't too keep on wearing it very long. He was tell us "no" when we would pull it out but we finally got it on him to get 1 picture out of the ordeal.
- some great news came in early November when Matt was offered a job at a local bank. He has been out of a fulltime job for 2 years now and this has been a huge prayer requests especially once we found out about baby #2. God has been so good to our family and he continues to show his amazing grace to us every single day.
Alex continues to grow and change every single day. He does things that just simply amaze me because I don't feel he should be big enough to understand. Here are some moments from the past few months that I can remember:
* started daycare in September. It was a rough 3 weeks transitioning but now he LOVES going. He walks in and jumps right into whatever activity they are doing at the time. He will give me a kiss bye (sometimes) and then wave with his sweet litttle "bye, bye."
* has transitioned to a toddler bed. We took the front off his crib and put up a safety rail. He seems to enjoy and we only have had 2 rough nights of him getting out of it and crying at the door but on both nights, he would put himself back in the bed and go to sleep. Can't believe he is getting so big!
* November 5: sat quiet through our dinner prayer for the first time with his hands folded and head bowed. This brought me to tears. He usually talks and plays with the food but this time, he just sat there and watched Matt out of the corner of his eye while listening very intently. During Sundays lunch, he didn't sit so quietly but when Matt said "amen", Alex let out a loud "AAAAmen" to finish it up! Just made me smile so big!
* has started singing "Twinkle, Twinkle", his ABC's, and counting. Can't always understand the words or them being in the correct order but he loves to sing the tunes. I also enjoy listening to him talk to his animals in the bed once he wakes up in the mornings. Who knows what the conversation is about but he is quite communcative in a language he understands.
I know there are so many things I have missed and hate myself for not staying on top of it better but that is why I vow to start keeping better notes and sharing fun times more often.
Please stay tuned to find out more of The Everyday Life of the Ewaskos!!!
KBE
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